Let the Cramming Begin

Today is my first seated final. I am taking my math final early so I can enjoy time with my mom. I'm a ball of nerves over finals this week. I'm not 100% sure why I feel this way. I have been doing great all semester and should end up with a decent GPA.

The past few nights I have spent reviewing material. Reading, reading, reading, highlighting and did I mention reading? There are been a few times when I just sit and stare at the page, I see the words, recognize what they are but comprehended nothing. I think that is because my brain is too full.

This semester has been a road full of bumps. For some reason the semester felt fairly easy. I have had to do the work and study but the process has seemed easy. That is proof that God's timing is perfect.

Surviving to Thriving

There are many days in the past where I did what I could to get through the day. I just needed to survive the day. During deployment this was especially true. At the height of trying to find Parker a proper medication and help for him in school, I did what I could just to survive. Before I knew it I went from day to day just surviving.

Last week I started school. I'm carrying a full course load along with trying to manage the children, house and soon a deployed husband. I had it in my head that we would have to survive it. I had my mind made up that with homework, house chores, children's schedule, husband's schedule, a needy dog, etc that we would just simply have to hold our breath and make it through this season of our life.

Monday came along and I went to class as scheduled. I had planned dinner to be in the slow cooker because I knew that I would be late getting home, a neighbor picked up Parker so I didn't have to worry about him getting off the bus and walking home alone, the tween and teenagers made it home and left me a voicemail message. The day went smooth. no hiccups in the road. I was relieved and thankful. That night I felt good about the day.

I'm going back, back, back to school again.......

It is tradition to sit down to dinner at our house. Cell phones get left in a basket, house phone goes unanswered, and the TV is off. We set the table, hold hands to pray and begin to share our day with each other. I love this time of day.
About 6 months ago I felt like I was wrestling with a monster. I have felt like a caterpillar in a cocoon trying to fight my way out. I wasn't sure what I was fighting for but I was sure that once I broke through a beautiful creature would appear.

Six months ago all my wrestling came to a head. We were at the dinner table when  I looked at my husband and said "I think I'm having a mid-life crisis." Laugh, it's funny. My oldest looks at me and replied "Your not 50 how can you be having a mid-life crisis?" My youngest daughter pipes up "Does that mean we can get a new car?" The boys just looked at me like what is that.  Apparently, once again, I had blurted out my feelings with little thought to who or where I was. This was something that had become normal for me.