Deployment Day

Well, it is that time of year again. The time when we prep like crazy to be ready for deployment. It isn't long now until D Day is here and we are once again saying "Until next time."

We have had a roller coaster ride of events this last year. It was almost a year ago that I received the call that my husband was injured. Since then he has had several surgeries and is finally cleared to go back to regular duty. Regular duty for us means lots of TDY and deployment trips.

I had gotten very good at saying "Until next time." I was used to my husband leaving frequently. My husband and I often struggled to connect when he was home for such a short period of time. We struggled in parenting roles, our marriage, and individually with what our place was when he would be home. Often it would feel like we were two people living together instead of a married couple.

Strong Enough

Here we are 4 months after I received the dreaded phone call that my husband was hurt. I would love to tell you that he came home, healed and we went about life as normal. But that would be far from the truth. My husband has now had 2 additional surgeries and is currently hooked up to a wound vac as I type this.

Initially things looked like they would heal like they were supposed to and life would continue on. For a short period of time he was able to go back to work and start physical therapy. Then came the words that I have grown to hate. It's infected. First course of treatment was a high dose of antibiotics. The ankle quickly became more infected and wasn't responding to antibiotics.

Healing

Well, here we are. A little more than a month since I received the dreaded phone call that my husband was injured. What a bumpy ride it has been. I'm glad I was wearing my seat belt.

Physically my husband is healing. He is walking around with the help of a boot on his leg. (he hates the boot) Today he is headed back to work. Most of the day will be filled with doctor appointments but we are finally back to a some what normal schedule for us.

No matter how long you are in a relationship there comes a point when the two of you have spent entirely to much time together and are now driving each other crazy. That point for me was about 2 weeks ago.

Exhaustion

I am happy to report that my husband made it home safe. On Wednesday I traveled to the airport to pick him up. After some discussion the unit allowed him to travel on a commercial flight home with his two escorts.

While I was home waiting, worrying, frustrated, angry, sad, basically an emotional mess, the unit was behind the scenes preparing for my husband's return from the moment they found out he was hurt. Almost immediately the unit sent two of our guys to escort my husband home. Once I found out that information I rested a little easier with the travel part of the trip. I knew someone was there to help him. Once my husband landed he called our docs and they told him of the appointments they lined up for us the next day. I don't wish that anyone's husband be injured or you ever have to receive a phone call like I did but I can say that our unit has taken very good care of us throughout the process so far.

I was a ball of nerves when the plane landed and I was waiting for my husband to come off the plane. I knew he would be coming from the plane to the gate in a wheelchair. I wasn't sure how he'd look when I saw him or how he'd be feeling after traveling for so long. I was relieved when I saw him. I felt like I could breathe again. He had a big cast on his leg but overall looked pretty good considering.

His escorts helped me gather his things from baggage claim and load him in the car to go home. It was on the way home that we sorted out all the details that we both seemed to miss. We had each gotten bits and pieces of the story but it was nice to finally link things together in a way that made sense.

Once we made it home I discovered how much damage was actually done. My husband showed me all the bruises and scrapes. Almost the entire right side of his body was bruised and scraped up. At that point I was in shock. It had been almost a week since the accident and it looked like it happened yesterday.

Fear

Today was chalked full of  things you should not say to a military wife. I will spare you all the details but I was once again confronted with people that don't know what to say to me so they say something that they think will be comforting but it just made me more angry.

I'm a ball of emotion waiting for my husband to get home. Today the unit called to tell me to expect my husband home in the next 72 hours. Then this afternoon, during biology, my husband called to tell me he would be home tomorrow night.

I quickly realized I have very little in the house for groceries and NO COFFEE. No coffee at my house means a cranky husband in the morning. Knowing that he would already be edgy from being in pain I want to make sure I can help where I can. After my commissary trip I checked my phone (I never get reception in the commissary) and saw that I missed a phone call from my husband. A few minutes later he called again and I got to speak with him.

We talked about logistics of tomorrow and I asked the question that opened the flood gates of tears. I asked "Will you have a wheelchair take you from the gate to baggage claim?" I'm still not sure why I asked that question. I hadn't thought about it before. In my head I assumed he would have a wheelchair. It's a lot of walking to do on crutches and in pain. My husband replied "I hope so because it's a long way to walk."

I waited until we hung up the phone and I started to cry. It was at that moment I began to realize my husband's injuries. My husband is the strongest person I know. He is one that once he wakes up in the morning he hits the ground running. I am the polar opposite. I find myself wanting to relax in the bed, enjoy the quiet and leisurely start my day. Usually by the time I get down the stairs my husband has projects started.

Relief

The phone has caused me much angst over the past few days but it has also caused me great joy. As a military wife, when my husband deploys I become one with the phone. I never leave without my cell phone, it's always charged or has the capability to be charged.

Last night as I was still waiting to hear from my husband I slept with both house phones and my cell phone. Just in case one of the house phones died I wanted to have a backup. My cell phone was fully charged and turned as loud as it would go. I quickly learned that if I am trying to sleep I would need to turn off all notifications except the one for phone calls. Waking to the WordFeud ring tone at 3 am was not fun.

It could be worse

Over the past few days I have said and heard the phrase "It could be worse." I have decided that I now hate that phrase. No matter what situation you are in things could always be worse. Or my other least favorite saying is "No news is good news." Well, when your husband has been injured and you haven't talked to him in 68 hours neither of those sayings help they only make me angry.

Our unit has been great at giving me updates as to what they know and what to expect next. I like knowing the logistics of what's going to happen. It's still not the same as hearing your husband on the other end of the phone.

I find myself on high alert. Every time the phone rings I hold my breathe hoping it's going to be my husband on the other end. I try to keep telling myself he's in good hands, resting, and heling. I still want to hear my husband on the other end of the phone.

I have plenty of things to keep my busy so you would think I would be able to get passed this point. It's the only thing I can think about. I read the words in my text books only to find myself having no idea what I read. I'm not sure there is anything I can do or say to get past this stage. I think the only thing that will make it better is having my husband home.

Until he gets home I will continue to put on my strong face, go through the motions of daily life, help my children, probably hold my breathe each time the phone rings, and try not to yell at the next person that tells me "it could be worse" or "no news is good news."

Waiting

Yesterday I kept telling myself I probably won't hear from my husband much. He's in pain, he's resting, the docs are taking good care of him. All of those statements are still true this morning. Except I can get past the part of I really want to talk to my husband.

I thought I would be okay with not talking to him because I know he's okay. I also thought that I could muscle through it until he got here. Truth is, today I'm a wreck. For the past two days I think I was in shock functioning on the strength of God and my family and friends. Today when I woke up the reality of what happened hit me like a ton of bricks. My husband is thousands of miles away, hurt, and I can't get to him. Worse yet, I have to wait at least a week until I get to physically lay eyes on him.

I have talked to my husband twice since the accident. The first call was  to tell me he was hurt and one to tell me he was okay. Oh, and the message he left me right after surgery telling me he was okay and things went well. I don't count that phone call because I didn't get to speak to him.

The Sweetest Sound

There are many sounds that I love. The sound of rain, the sound of my children laughing, the quiet in the morning, and yesterday I discovered just how much I love the sound of my husband's voice.

Yesterday was a LONG day with many emotions. There were tons of phone calls to make and answer as well as questions that I still didn't have answers to. All I knew was my husband had an accident, had surgery and was fine after surgery. I think the not knowing details of events like this is almost harder than knowing every painful detail. With knowing the details you are able to process information differently. When you don't know the information your brain can fill in a ton of 'what ifs'. In addition to the 'what if' scenarios you have to answer questions from family and friends that you hadn't thought of yet. I had to answer many questions with a simple "I don't know."

Last night the phone rang many times. Each time my heart raced hoping it was my husband. Each time throughout the day my heart sank because it wasn't him. When the unit called to give me an update I thought for sure I'd hear my husband on the other end. Based on caller ID I got my hopes up only to have them dashed when I heard a unit member on the other end. Then, after being sure I wouldn't hear from my husband for the rest of the night, the very last phone call to the house was my husband.

The Dreaded Phone Call

Today was a day that started like any other and then quickly took a turn for the worse. It was a phone call I never thought I would get. We have always been told if your service member is injured, if at all possible, the service member will call home to talk to the spouse to let them know what was going on. It was information like that, that is always in the back of my head and today I had to rely on that information because the events played out pretty much like I had been told.

I woke to hear the phone ringing, I looked at my clock to see the time and the clock read 6:24 am. I figured the phone call was from my husband. We are still struggling to find a good communication system for this deployment so he calls when he can. I figured he knew we were getting ready for school and called to talk to everyone before we headed out the door on our way for the day. What I didn't expect was the words he would say to me.

The connection was full of static and hard to hear my husband. Once we were finally able to hear each other I started talking like I normally do. Really it was just rambling on about daily life. In between my rambles my husband said "I need to tell you something" My heart sank. I knew what that something was. I knew at that minute he was going to tell me he was hurt. I was bracing myself for the status report. Indeed my husband was injured and was fixing to go into surgery. I knew he had to have surgery on his ankle and there was an accident but not much more than that.

After that phone call I immediately text my girlfriend who in the past has always been my battle buddy. She was going to be my level head and talk me through the process of the day. I knew that I could rely on her advice, that she would pray continually for me and let me get out the emotions that I needed as well as tell me when I needed to come back to earth and put my big girl panties back on.

I knew everyone would have questions that I didn't have the answers to. Like what happened? Is he coming home? Where is he now? None of those things I knew the answer to. Because I didn't know the answers to those questions I became very selective in who I told and in what order. I didn't want to upset anyone and not be able to answer questions. It was bad enough I was freaking out and didn't have answers. I couldn't imagine having to field questions when I was trying to keep my emotions in check and logically work through this process. Not to mention I had kids to get to school, I had school myself and I was still waiting to hear more information.

I decided early on I would forge ahead and go to school. I figured distractions would be good and I had a test to take today. The rule is if you aren't in class on the day of the test then you have to take a zero. I would put my big girl panties and get through the test and come home. Half way through my test my phone rang. I thought it would be my husband or the unit but instead it was the school calling to tell me the damage total for the wall my daughter backed into. My heart sank. It was now 5 hours since I talked to my husband or heard an update. I went back into class and my instructor pretty much told me to go home and I could take the test on Tuesday. I picked myself up and went home.

Once I was home I found a voicemail from my husband telling me he was out of surgery and he would call me later. I also received a call from our unit telling me that my husband came through surgery fine. He has two pins in his ankle and at some point in the near future he would be on a plane home. It was then that I felt that I could start notifying other family members as to what happened.

As I write this our children don't know that their dad was hurt. I wanted to protect them from unnecessary worry and anxiety and since I didn't have many answers I decided to wait to tell them until after school. I now have the information to tell them their dad will be fine which is what they are going to want to hear more than anything else.

Today I am so very thankful for my battle buddy, our unit, family, friends and a God that is right here with us. God is who held me up today. I didn't have the strength to stand by myself but God whispered to me I got you.

I'm reminded to ALWAYS  tell the people in your life just how much they mean to you. It's possible you won't get a second chance. I'm reminded that red paint on the garage floor and a brick wall that needs to be replaced really won't matter in 10 years. I remember how much love I have for my husband every minute of every day and it doesn't matter where he is located geographically or how hard I try to solider on, when he is hurt I hurt.

Take a minute to tell those around you just how much they mean to you. Don't focus on the external circumstances but focus on your love for that person. Today is now and tomorrow is never guaranteed.

What a Difference a Day Makes

Last year at this time things in our household was very different. I felt trapped and not sure why I was even here. I felt as if I wasn't important, that you could stick any person in my 'job' and no one in my family would notice a difference. I felt like I was losing myself and I didn't know how to find my way.
To be completely honest I was sure that our marriage was on its way to being over. I started to think of a life as a single parent and to me it seemed a doable option. I was tired of deployment, tired of fighting with children and being a sole care provider, tired of being in a geographical place that I don't care for, I was tired of everything in my life. To put it in simple words I was miserable.

Last year just before Women of Faith I was sure that my marriage was over. I didn't have the energy to fight for it anymore. After WoF I had hope that things would be better and we could get through this tough spot. I returned home with hope in my heart and a willingness to change me, focus on me and what I can do to make things different.

One More Day......

Today was one of those crazy busy days. On the top of the list was a trip to the commissary. I went with coupons in hand but no list. I didn't have the energy the night before to make a list or even think of a menu. Since I cook most of the time I knew about what we had on hand and the items that we would need. I didn't do to bad. I'm no extreme couponer but I managed to save almost $75 on a $400 bill. That is success to me.

I always forget how long it actually takes me to put away groceries. After a big grocery trip I spend most of the day organizing and putting away. I have a little OCD when it comes to putting things in Tupperware and getting rid of as many of the boxes as I can. Today as I dumped granola bars into their container and broke down the box, I dropped it on the floor just like always. That way the boxes are flat and I can pick up the boxes and put them in recycling. Yankee(our new shelter rescue) decided it was his job to take those boxes and tear them apart. It was funny to watch him. He was like a little child at Christmas who was having more fun with the boxes than the toys.

Tune In

The call has finally come. My husband has to take another trip(read deployment). I knew it wouldn't be long before he had to depart again. It's part of the territory. In a way I am used to him leaving all the time and in a way I will never get used to it. I know that sounds funny but I guess until you experience it there just isn't words to describe it.

Getting ready for this trip is different than the last few. My husband won't need to take many things with him so packing hasn't consumed 3-4 days at our house, only a few hours. We still did need to take a trip to Target to get the few items that he would need while he is gone.

"R" Day

Well, our "R" day has finally arrived! My husband has returned home and we are trying to settle into life as we know it. My husband was originally supposed to return home on Monday. When I called the unit to see about return times I found out he actually wasn't coming in until the next afternoon. Tuesday afternoon arrived and I didn't get a call from my husband. At the end of the work day I called the unit again to see what time to expect my husband. I was then told it had been pushed back to midnight. I asked the silly question "Is it possible the time will change again?" The answer I got was not clear. It was possible there would be another delay because of the weather this time.

On Tuesday afternoon we had predictions of snow and wintery conditions. School had already been delayed two hours the next day before the school day was even over.  After watching Biggest Loser I noticed that it had started to snow and was sticking to the grass and the roads in our subdivision. I had admitted defeat and was convinced that my husband would again be delayed. SOOOO, off to bed I went. I was actually asleep before 11:30 p.m., which is highly unusually for me. At 1 am I got the sweetest phone call from my husband. He said "Hey babe, can you come and pick me up?" Getting to the unit took longer than normal because of the snow but the drive and the late night was well worth it.

What I didn't know about the delays and yet another delayed school day was the blessings that God had waiting for us. God knew that if my huband's return was delayed and the girls had a delay for school, that first morning home we would get to hang out as a family. The girls would get to spend a few uninterupted hours with their dad just relaxing and enjoying having him home.

The last few days have been relaxing. I finally feel like I can breathe again. I always feel like I am holding my breath when he is gone. I have my husband back. The man that makes me laugh and laughs at me. He enjoys my cooking much more than my children do.

Although we know about the next deployment and it's not far away, I am trying to focus on the positive that my husband is here. Projects may have to wait until the next "R" time. This time I am focusing on making memories that will get us through the next deployment.

Anticipation

As I write this I am waiting for my husband to come home from his most recent deployment. Not much longer. I would love to scream (or type) exactly when he will be here but because of OPSEC I can only tell you it will be soon.

I sat down to type an email and when I approached my computer I saw the picture of my husband that I have set as my desktop picture. I look at the picture and think "Not much longer."(insert the number of sleeps left) But I also wonder if maybe I have dreamt this man up in my imagination.

In reality I know I am married and I know that my husband will be here. I didn't magically conceive and give birth to our children. I know that I have talked to my husband on the phone and even had a Video Tele-conference with him. But until he is actually here and I can touch him it feels like I am living in a made for TV movie.

Once I finally wrap my brain around the fact that he is coming home I start to think about the what ifs that come with "R" day.(reunion day) What if he doesn't recognize me? What if I don't look good to him any more? What if I don't recognize him? What if..........

I think it's normal to play the what if game. We have been apart for so long that it's hard to imagine life together again. Although I have fantasized about it for the entire deployment. I couldn't wait for "R" day. The kids and I would count down how many sleeps left and some days it was all I had to go through the motions of life because that's all I had to give.

As we all anxiously await the return of our loved ones, remember that your husband is reality. You didn't dream him up. He will look every bit as handsome as the day he left and you will recognize him the minute you see him. Just as you can pick out the back of your child in any crowd you will be able to pick out your husband as well. You will look better than your husband remembered. He too has longed for the day to be home and see you.

Not much longer and I will see my handsome husband. Then I am going to lock the door and shut the world out. The kids and I need to reconnect with the man we have longed to have home for so long. Before we know it, it will be back to life as a normal military family. If there is such a thing as normal in this military life.

Fantasy or Reality

During my journey as a military wife I have learned a few things. Like, never plan to far ahead and expect things to go smoothly, don't get attached to furniture that you let the movers take and hope for the best but prepare for the worst. The last saying is actually my husband's. He always tells me to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

We are officially counting down by days instead of weeks or months. I am trying to keep my husband's return a secret from the children but it's becoming harder and harder as the days/hours tick by.

Today, as I was cleaning as a crazy woman, memories started to pop into my mind. With my husband's unpredictable schedule I try to hold onto each memory with a firm grip until he returns to make new memories. Sometimes I wonder if the memories I want to happen and the memories that have happened start to blur. When its time for my husband to return I start to think about laying in bed snuggled up together or going to lunch or just plain old everyday stuff that I have missed. I even start to think about yelling at him to put away his laundry. :)

So today, I am preparing for the best and hoping for the best. It doesn't matter if the memories are fantasy or reality. My husband won't care if the house is cleaned or the yard is manicured. His reality is that he wants to come home and be home. I bet if I asked him his fantasy would be just to be home. The reality is we aren't far away from that dream. I close my eyes at night and think of my husband laying right next to me. And we aren't far away from that dream becoming a reality.

No matter where you are in deployment keep dreaming about your husband. Keep wishing for memories and holding onto the ones that are dear to you. Those memories bring a smile to your face and they might even make you laugh. Some times it's the simple things that help us get through deployed life.

Another D-Day Done

Today marks another day off of our deployment calendar. The time is growing shorter and soon my husband will be home.

I should be doing a million things around the house to get ready for my husbands return but if I do it now I will only have to do it again just before he gets here. I have been putting off all of the house cleaning, carpet cleaned and organizing that needs to be done.

The last couple of days I have not been feeling the greatest so I have stayed in PJ's. Why is it that those days when you don't accomplish much on the to do list go the fastest? Laying in the bed has made the days fly by. Maybe I am on to something here!

On a normal day I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. My kids aren't over scheduled, I am. Having 4 of them in different activities means a lot of mom taxi on the road. Usually about half way through the day I am praying for it to be bed time so I can have 5 minutes of peace to myself. But the last two days I have slept and tried to nurse myself back to health and find myself praying for a few extra hours in the day so I can rest some more.

I have enjoyed laying on the couch and in the bed doing absolutely nothing. I'm thankful to have older children that can get themselves a meal or offer to make something simple for themselves to eat. Even though I haven't felt the greatest I am reminded to focus on the positive things and many blessings around me. I am blessed to have great kids and wonderful friends around me. What are your blessings today? What positive things are there in your life that you may have over looked?

Deployment Seasons

If you have ever been through deployment you know one is not the same as the next. It's almost like being pregnant and giving birth. While the overall situation was the same, 9 months of pregnancy and a baby at the end, each pregnancy and birth was very different.

Several years ago when my husband went to a Special Operations Unit, I thought the idea was splendid. I romanced the idea of shorter deployments and the idea of never having to be apart for a year. I will admit that shorter deployments are nice. The count down isn't as long and I can see the end fairly quickly. The part I wasn't ready for was all the emotion that goes with deployments. It doesn't matter if the time apart is 3 months, 6 months, 9 months or a year, there are a ton of emotions to go with the deployment.

When you first send your spouse off you have the initial "OH MY GOSH HE'S GONE" Syndrome. I don't pick up anything he left out for at least a week. You have the tears and the days where you want to pull the covers over your head and tell the world to go away. Especially if the people that call or come by aren't military friends or family. It's been my experience that civilian friends and family don't understand our deployment life. They really don't understand the hide under the covers day. This phase of deployment also starts the point where I feel like I am holding my breath waiting for my husband to return.

Once a few days have passed, I decide it's time to take deployment by the horns and conquer it. I am in "CONQUER THE DEPLOYMENT" Phase. At this point I decide to move furniture, by furniture, take classes, a new bible study, or the kids have a new adventure with sports or something of the sort. This is the part of deployment where people will look at you and simply say "I don't know how you do it."While you appreciate the comment and smile you secretly want to dust their house or wash that mark off the wall.

Then we get to about mid tour and I get to the phase of deployment called "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANY MORE!" During this junction in the road I have decided, for my husband, that he simply needs to leave the military as fast as possible when he gets back. Whatever way will get him out and we won't have to endure another deployment will work just fine for me. This part of deployment is frustrating for me. I want my husband home yesterday. I can't go back to stage one and eat Chips Ahoy and pull the covers over my head because of phase 2. I have signed us up for all of these new things that are taking place and are still in full swing.

After a few weeks pass the frustration of phase 3 starts to leave. The return date gets closer and I start in on phase 4. "I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN." I begin to think I can finish this deployment a sane mama and wife. I begin to think that this deployment while difficult, didn't kill me and I am may be stronger for it. It's almost close enough to start counting down the days with all those cute countdown tickers in the signature lines. Now I start to rearrange furniture and cupboards, drawers, whatever I can get my hands on. My husband wouldn't feel like he was at home if he didn't have to relearn where I put everything while he was gone.

Then we journey towards the phase of deployment called "WELCOME HOME!" My husband's return is so close I can taste it. I must buy anything and everything new. Bras, panties, clothes, get my hair done, clean the house, rearrange a few more things, and OH YA! clean the garage. During the phase 2 and 4 everything that left the living space of the house has made it to the garage and stayed there. I must clean the garage so my husband can walk through it. The kids and I start to make WELCOME HOME Banners and I will tell anyone that will sit still for 2 seconds that my husband is almost home.

Now we get to the fun part. T-2 days and counting. I'm sure I have never really slept at the T-2 phase. I keep thinking of things I need to do or should have done. I'm to excited to sleep and start to think about which new outfit I will wear when I pick my husband up. I envision his face as he sees us. I can almost feel us holding each other tight. We are almost done with deployment.

FINALLY! It's R DAY. Reunion Day. Today is the day I thought would never come. He is within my hands reach and we are in the same town, same space, same time zone and will be together again. I no longer have to be a single parent or great fixer of all things. I no longer have to be macho mom. I can just be mom. When I finally get to hug my husband I feel like I can breathe again. I can exhale and relax just a little bit. I can lay in the bed without extra pillows and fall asleep with my head on my husband's chest. Our home is our home again.(with exception to the things my husband has moved because he wasn't sure where they went)

Now just like giving birth you forget about how much deployment hurts. The longer my husband is home the more I start to think that if we have to do deployment again we will be okay. The deployment was hard but we grew as parents, a married couple and individuals. While I'm not hoping deployment comes knocking I know we would get through it again.

"He gets angry once in a while, but across a lifetime there is only love. The nights of crying your eyes out give way to days of laughter." Psalms 30:5 The Message.

All I Want for Christmas

The Christmas season is in full swing. We now have our tree up and some gifts underneath. I let go of my OCD and let the kids decorate the house. There are lights and garland everywhere. The kids have lights all over their rooms and the word TA-DA and VIOLA have been bountiful in our home.

The kids are not to patiently waiting for the day when they get to open their presents. Since they are big enough to understand that not all presents come from Santa, most of their presents are already under the tree. The boys are waiting for Christmas Eve so they can put out cookies and wake up surprised and anxious to see what Santa left them.

With all the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season one thing is still missing. My husband, the kids dad, he's still gone for the Christmas season. We continue to carry on with our events and outings but it's always in the back of your mind that the person you love isn't here. I have to say that our kids are troopers. They keep going and going. I'm not sure how they do it some days. Some days I look to them for strength.

As I was cooking dinner last night our youngest daughter came in the kitchen and asked when we were going to go shopping for my present. I replied that I had already bought my present this year. Santa came early for me. I bought a Kitchen Aid Mixer and a BodyBugg, both of which I absolutely love. That answer wasn't good enough for her. Their dad usually takes them shopping for my present. Which is really more of my husband present hunting while trying to keep 4 kids in line during the holiday rush. I'm not sure how much say they really have in the process but it's what they know and remember. So, today I will venture out and try to stay far enough away while the kids pick out that perfect present for me in their dad's absence.

While all the gifts are nice and the food is good all I really want for Christmas is my husband. I would trade all the presents under the tree and give more away if he could be here for Christmas. But since the unit has called him far far away this year, I would like a phone call, lots of laughter, and a sense of peace that this deployment will end soon.

The Lord will answer our Christmas wishes in His time. He answers those wishes all year round. I'm thankful for a God that always listens, is patient as I stomp my feet like a 2 year old and loves me right where I am.

If you are spending your Christmas apart from the ones you love remember that our Heavenly Father always love us and is with us. It's hard to be apart from the ones we love at this time of year but with God all things are possible and we will get through this season and then to the end of the deoployment.

May you have a blessed Christmas Holiday.