Here we are 4 months after I received the dreaded phone call that my husband was hurt. I would love to tell you that he came home, healed and we went about life as normal. But that would be far from the truth. My husband has now had 2 additional surgeries and is currently hooked up to a wound vac as I type this.
Initially things looked like they would heal like they were supposed to and life would continue on. For a short period of time he was able to go back to work and start physical therapy. Then came the words that I have grown to hate. It's infected. First course of treatment was a high dose of antibiotics. The ankle quickly became more infected and wasn't responding to antibiotics.
Showing posts with label injured soldier. Show all posts
Showing posts with label injured soldier. Show all posts
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Healing
Well, here we are. A little more than a month since I received the dreaded phone call that my husband was injured. What a bumpy ride it has been. I'm glad I was wearing my seat belt.
Physically my husband is healing. He is walking around with the help of a boot on his leg. (he hates the boot) Today he is headed back to work. Most of the day will be filled with doctor appointments but we are finally back to a some what normal schedule for us.
No matter how long you are in a relationship there comes a point when the two of you have spent entirely to much time together and are now driving each other crazy. That point for me was about 2 weeks ago.
Physically my husband is healing. He is walking around with the help of a boot on his leg. (he hates the boot) Today he is headed back to work. Most of the day will be filled with doctor appointments but we are finally back to a some what normal schedule for us.
No matter how long you are in a relationship there comes a point when the two of you have spent entirely to much time together and are now driving each other crazy. That point for me was about 2 weeks ago.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Exhaustion
I am happy to report that my husband made it home safe. On Wednesday I traveled to the airport to pick him up. After some discussion the unit allowed him to travel on a commercial flight home with his two escorts.
While I was home waiting, worrying, frustrated, angry, sad, basically an emotional mess, the unit was behind the scenes preparing for my husband's return from the moment they found out he was hurt. Almost immediately the unit sent two of our guys to escort my husband home. Once I found out that information I rested a little easier with the travel part of the trip. I knew someone was there to help him. Once my husband landed he called our docs and they told him of the appointments they lined up for us the next day. I don't wish that anyone's husband be injured or you ever have to receive a phone call like I did but I can say that our unit has taken very good care of us throughout the process so far.
I was a ball of nerves when the plane landed and I was waiting for my husband to come off the plane. I knew he would be coming from the plane to the gate in a wheelchair. I wasn't sure how he'd look when I saw him or how he'd be feeling after traveling for so long. I was relieved when I saw him. I felt like I could breathe again. He had a big cast on his leg but overall looked pretty good considering.
His escorts helped me gather his things from baggage claim and load him in the car to go home. It was on the way home that we sorted out all the details that we both seemed to miss. We had each gotten bits and pieces of the story but it was nice to finally link things together in a way that made sense.
Once we made it home I discovered how much damage was actually done. My husband showed me all the bruises and scrapes. Almost the entire right side of his body was bruised and scraped up. At that point I was in shock. It had been almost a week since the accident and it looked like it happened yesterday.
While I was home waiting, worrying, frustrated, angry, sad, basically an emotional mess, the unit was behind the scenes preparing for my husband's return from the moment they found out he was hurt. Almost immediately the unit sent two of our guys to escort my husband home. Once I found out that information I rested a little easier with the travel part of the trip. I knew someone was there to help him. Once my husband landed he called our docs and they told him of the appointments they lined up for us the next day. I don't wish that anyone's husband be injured or you ever have to receive a phone call like I did but I can say that our unit has taken very good care of us throughout the process so far.
I was a ball of nerves when the plane landed and I was waiting for my husband to come off the plane. I knew he would be coming from the plane to the gate in a wheelchair. I wasn't sure how he'd look when I saw him or how he'd be feeling after traveling for so long. I was relieved when I saw him. I felt like I could breathe again. He had a big cast on his leg but overall looked pretty good considering.
His escorts helped me gather his things from baggage claim and load him in the car to go home. It was on the way home that we sorted out all the details that we both seemed to miss. We had each gotten bits and pieces of the story but it was nice to finally link things together in a way that made sense.
Once we made it home I discovered how much damage was actually done. My husband showed me all the bruises and scrapes. Almost the entire right side of his body was bruised and scraped up. At that point I was in shock. It had been almost a week since the accident and it looked like it happened yesterday.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Fear
Today was chalked full of things you should not say to a military wife. I will spare you all the details but I was once again confronted with people that don't know what to say to me so they say something that they think will be comforting but it just made me more angry.
I'm a ball of emotion waiting for my husband to get home. Today the unit called to tell me to expect my husband home in the next 72 hours. Then this afternoon, during biology, my husband called to tell me he would be home tomorrow night.
I quickly realized I have very little in the house for groceries and NO COFFEE. No coffee at my house means a cranky husband in the morning. Knowing that he would already be edgy from being in pain I want to make sure I can help where I can. After my commissary trip I checked my phone (I never get reception in the commissary) and saw that I missed a phone call from my husband. A few minutes later he called again and I got to speak with him.
We talked about logistics of tomorrow and I asked the question that opened the flood gates of tears. I asked "Will you have a wheelchair take you from the gate to baggage claim?" I'm still not sure why I asked that question. I hadn't thought about it before. In my head I assumed he would have a wheelchair. It's a lot of walking to do on crutches and in pain. My husband replied "I hope so because it's a long way to walk."
I waited until we hung up the phone and I started to cry. It was at that moment I began to realize my husband's injuries. My husband is the strongest person I know. He is one that once he wakes up in the morning he hits the ground running. I am the polar opposite. I find myself wanting to relax in the bed, enjoy the quiet and leisurely start my day. Usually by the time I get down the stairs my husband has projects started.
I'm a ball of emotion waiting for my husband to get home. Today the unit called to tell me to expect my husband home in the next 72 hours. Then this afternoon, during biology, my husband called to tell me he would be home tomorrow night.
I quickly realized I have very little in the house for groceries and NO COFFEE. No coffee at my house means a cranky husband in the morning. Knowing that he would already be edgy from being in pain I want to make sure I can help where I can. After my commissary trip I checked my phone (I never get reception in the commissary) and saw that I missed a phone call from my husband. A few minutes later he called again and I got to speak with him.
We talked about logistics of tomorrow and I asked the question that opened the flood gates of tears. I asked "Will you have a wheelchair take you from the gate to baggage claim?" I'm still not sure why I asked that question. I hadn't thought about it before. In my head I assumed he would have a wheelchair. It's a lot of walking to do on crutches and in pain. My husband replied "I hope so because it's a long way to walk."
I waited until we hung up the phone and I started to cry. It was at that moment I began to realize my husband's injuries. My husband is the strongest person I know. He is one that once he wakes up in the morning he hits the ground running. I am the polar opposite. I find myself wanting to relax in the bed, enjoy the quiet and leisurely start my day. Usually by the time I get down the stairs my husband has projects started.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Relief
The phone has caused me much angst over the past few days but it has also caused me great joy. As a military wife, when my husband deploys I become one with the phone. I never leave without my cell phone, it's always charged or has the capability to be charged.
Last night as I was still waiting to hear from my husband I slept with both house phones and my cell phone. Just in case one of the house phones died I wanted to have a backup. My cell phone was fully charged and turned as loud as it would go. I quickly learned that if I am trying to sleep I would need to turn off all notifications except the one for phone calls. Waking to the WordFeud ring tone at 3 am was not fun.
Last night as I was still waiting to hear from my husband I slept with both house phones and my cell phone. Just in case one of the house phones died I wanted to have a backup. My cell phone was fully charged and turned as loud as it would go. I quickly learned that if I am trying to sleep I would need to turn off all notifications except the one for phone calls. Waking to the WordFeud ring tone at 3 am was not fun.
It could be worse
Over the past few days I have said and heard the phrase "It could be worse." I have decided that I now hate that phrase. No matter what situation you are in things could always be worse. Or my other least favorite saying is "No news is good news." Well, when your husband has been injured and you haven't talked to him in 68 hours neither of those sayings help they only make me angry.
Our unit has been great at giving me updates as to what they know and what to expect next. I like knowing the logistics of what's going to happen. It's still not the same as hearing your husband on the other end of the phone.
I find myself on high alert. Every time the phone rings I hold my breathe hoping it's going to be my husband on the other end. I try to keep telling myself he's in good hands, resting, and heling. I still want to hear my husband on the other end of the phone.
I have plenty of things to keep my busy so you would think I would be able to get passed this point. It's the only thing I can think about. I read the words in my text books only to find myself having no idea what I read. I'm not sure there is anything I can do or say to get past this stage. I think the only thing that will make it better is having my husband home.
Until he gets home I will continue to put on my strong face, go through the motions of daily life, help my children, probably hold my breathe each time the phone rings, and try not to yell at the next person that tells me "it could be worse" or "no news is good news."
Our unit has been great at giving me updates as to what they know and what to expect next. I like knowing the logistics of what's going to happen. It's still not the same as hearing your husband on the other end of the phone.
I find myself on high alert. Every time the phone rings I hold my breathe hoping it's going to be my husband on the other end. I try to keep telling myself he's in good hands, resting, and heling. I still want to hear my husband on the other end of the phone.
I have plenty of things to keep my busy so you would think I would be able to get passed this point. It's the only thing I can think about. I read the words in my text books only to find myself having no idea what I read. I'm not sure there is anything I can do or say to get past this stage. I think the only thing that will make it better is having my husband home.
Until he gets home I will continue to put on my strong face, go through the motions of daily life, help my children, probably hold my breathe each time the phone rings, and try not to yell at the next person that tells me "it could be worse" or "no news is good news."
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Waiting
Yesterday I kept telling myself I probably won't hear from my husband much. He's in pain, he's resting, the docs are taking good care of him. All of those statements are still true this morning. Except I can get past the part of I really want to talk to my husband.
I thought I would be okay with not talking to him because I know he's okay. I also thought that I could muscle through it until he got here. Truth is, today I'm a wreck. For the past two days I think I was in shock functioning on the strength of God and my family and friends. Today when I woke up the reality of what happened hit me like a ton of bricks. My husband is thousands of miles away, hurt, and I can't get to him. Worse yet, I have to wait at least a week until I get to physically lay eyes on him.
I have talked to my husband twice since the accident. The first call was to tell me he was hurt and one to tell me he was okay. Oh, and the message he left me right after surgery telling me he was okay and things went well. I don't count that phone call because I didn't get to speak to him.
I thought I would be okay with not talking to him because I know he's okay. I also thought that I could muscle through it until he got here. Truth is, today I'm a wreck. For the past two days I think I was in shock functioning on the strength of God and my family and friends. Today when I woke up the reality of what happened hit me like a ton of bricks. My husband is thousands of miles away, hurt, and I can't get to him. Worse yet, I have to wait at least a week until I get to physically lay eyes on him.
I have talked to my husband twice since the accident. The first call was to tell me he was hurt and one to tell me he was okay. Oh, and the message he left me right after surgery telling me he was okay and things went well. I don't count that phone call because I didn't get to speak to him.
Friday, March 23, 2012
The Sweetest Sound
There are many sounds that I love. The sound of rain, the sound of my children laughing, the quiet in the morning, and yesterday I discovered just how much I love the sound of my husband's voice.
Yesterday was a LONG day with many emotions. There were tons of phone calls to make and answer as well as questions that I still didn't have answers to. All I knew was my husband had an accident, had surgery and was fine after surgery. I think the not knowing details of events like this is almost harder than knowing every painful detail. With knowing the details you are able to process information differently. When you don't know the information your brain can fill in a ton of 'what ifs'. In addition to the 'what if' scenarios you have to answer questions from family and friends that you hadn't thought of yet. I had to answer many questions with a simple "I don't know."
Last night the phone rang many times. Each time my heart raced hoping it was my husband. Each time throughout the day my heart sank because it wasn't him. When the unit called to give me an update I thought for sure I'd hear my husband on the other end. Based on caller ID I got my hopes up only to have them dashed when I heard a unit member on the other end. Then, after being sure I wouldn't hear from my husband for the rest of the night, the very last phone call to the house was my husband.
Yesterday was a LONG day with many emotions. There were tons of phone calls to make and answer as well as questions that I still didn't have answers to. All I knew was my husband had an accident, had surgery and was fine after surgery. I think the not knowing details of events like this is almost harder than knowing every painful detail. With knowing the details you are able to process information differently. When you don't know the information your brain can fill in a ton of 'what ifs'. In addition to the 'what if' scenarios you have to answer questions from family and friends that you hadn't thought of yet. I had to answer many questions with a simple "I don't know."
Last night the phone rang many times. Each time my heart raced hoping it was my husband. Each time throughout the day my heart sank because it wasn't him. When the unit called to give me an update I thought for sure I'd hear my husband on the other end. Based on caller ID I got my hopes up only to have them dashed when I heard a unit member on the other end. Then, after being sure I wouldn't hear from my husband for the rest of the night, the very last phone call to the house was my husband.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The Dreaded Phone Call
Today was a day that started like any other and then quickly took a turn for the worse. It was a phone call I never thought I would get. We have always been told if your service member is injured, if at all possible, the service member will call home to talk to the spouse to let them know what was going on. It was information like that, that is always in the back of my head and today I had to rely on that information because the events played out pretty much like I had been told.
I woke to hear the phone ringing, I looked at my clock to see the time and the clock read 6:24 am. I figured the phone call was from my husband. We are still struggling to find a good communication system for this deployment so he calls when he can. I figured he knew we were getting ready for school and called to talk to everyone before we headed out the door on our way for the day. What I didn't expect was the words he would say to me.
The connection was full of static and hard to hear my husband. Once we were finally able to hear each other I started talking like I normally do. Really it was just rambling on about daily life. In between my rambles my husband said "I need to tell you something" My heart sank. I knew what that something was. I knew at that minute he was going to tell me he was hurt. I was bracing myself for the status report. Indeed my husband was injured and was fixing to go into surgery. I knew he had to have surgery on his ankle and there was an accident but not much more than that.
After that phone call I immediately text my girlfriend who in the past has always been my battle buddy. She was going to be my level head and talk me through the process of the day. I knew that I could rely on her advice, that she would pray continually for me and let me get out the emotions that I needed as well as tell me when I needed to come back to earth and put my big girl panties back on.
I knew everyone would have questions that I didn't have the answers to. Like what happened? Is he coming home? Where is he now? None of those things I knew the answer to. Because I didn't know the answers to those questions I became very selective in who I told and in what order. I didn't want to upset anyone and not be able to answer questions. It was bad enough I was freaking out and didn't have answers. I couldn't imagine having to field questions when I was trying to keep my emotions in check and logically work through this process. Not to mention I had kids to get to school, I had school myself and I was still waiting to hear more information.
I decided early on I would forge ahead and go to school. I figured distractions would be good and I had a test to take today. The rule is if you aren't in class on the day of the test then you have to take a zero. I would put my big girl panties and get through the test and come home. Half way through my test my phone rang. I thought it would be my husband or the unit but instead it was the school calling to tell me the damage total for the wall my daughter backed into. My heart sank. It was now 5 hours since I talked to my husband or heard an update. I went back into class and my instructor pretty much told me to go home and I could take the test on Tuesday. I picked myself up and went home.
Once I was home I found a voicemail from my husband telling me he was out of surgery and he would call me later. I also received a call from our unit telling me that my husband came through surgery fine. He has two pins in his ankle and at some point in the near future he would be on a plane home. It was then that I felt that I could start notifying other family members as to what happened.
As I write this our children don't know that their dad was hurt. I wanted to protect them from unnecessary worry and anxiety and since I didn't have many answers I decided to wait to tell them until after school. I now have the information to tell them their dad will be fine which is what they are going to want to hear more than anything else.
Today I am so very thankful for my battle buddy, our unit, family, friends and a God that is right here with us. God is who held me up today. I didn't have the strength to stand by myself but God whispered to me I got you.
I'm reminded to ALWAYS tell the people in your life just how much they mean to you. It's possible you won't get a second chance. I'm reminded that red paint on the garage floor and a brick wall that needs to be replaced really won't matter in 10 years. I remember how much love I have for my husband every minute of every day and it doesn't matter where he is located geographically or how hard I try to solider on, when he is hurt I hurt.
Take a minute to tell those around you just how much they mean to you. Don't focus on the external circumstances but focus on your love for that person. Today is now and tomorrow is never guaranteed.
I woke to hear the phone ringing, I looked at my clock to see the time and the clock read 6:24 am. I figured the phone call was from my husband. We are still struggling to find a good communication system for this deployment so he calls when he can. I figured he knew we were getting ready for school and called to talk to everyone before we headed out the door on our way for the day. What I didn't expect was the words he would say to me.
The connection was full of static and hard to hear my husband. Once we were finally able to hear each other I started talking like I normally do. Really it was just rambling on about daily life. In between my rambles my husband said "I need to tell you something" My heart sank. I knew what that something was. I knew at that minute he was going to tell me he was hurt. I was bracing myself for the status report. Indeed my husband was injured and was fixing to go into surgery. I knew he had to have surgery on his ankle and there was an accident but not much more than that.
After that phone call I immediately text my girlfriend who in the past has always been my battle buddy. She was going to be my level head and talk me through the process of the day. I knew that I could rely on her advice, that she would pray continually for me and let me get out the emotions that I needed as well as tell me when I needed to come back to earth and put my big girl panties back on.
I knew everyone would have questions that I didn't have the answers to. Like what happened? Is he coming home? Where is he now? None of those things I knew the answer to. Because I didn't know the answers to those questions I became very selective in who I told and in what order. I didn't want to upset anyone and not be able to answer questions. It was bad enough I was freaking out and didn't have answers. I couldn't imagine having to field questions when I was trying to keep my emotions in check and logically work through this process. Not to mention I had kids to get to school, I had school myself and I was still waiting to hear more information.
I decided early on I would forge ahead and go to school. I figured distractions would be good and I had a test to take today. The rule is if you aren't in class on the day of the test then you have to take a zero. I would put my big girl panties and get through the test and come home. Half way through my test my phone rang. I thought it would be my husband or the unit but instead it was the school calling to tell me the damage total for the wall my daughter backed into. My heart sank. It was now 5 hours since I talked to my husband or heard an update. I went back into class and my instructor pretty much told me to go home and I could take the test on Tuesday. I picked myself up and went home.
Once I was home I found a voicemail from my husband telling me he was out of surgery and he would call me later. I also received a call from our unit telling me that my husband came through surgery fine. He has two pins in his ankle and at some point in the near future he would be on a plane home. It was then that I felt that I could start notifying other family members as to what happened.
As I write this our children don't know that their dad was hurt. I wanted to protect them from unnecessary worry and anxiety and since I didn't have many answers I decided to wait to tell them until after school. I now have the information to tell them their dad will be fine which is what they are going to want to hear more than anything else.
Today I am so very thankful for my battle buddy, our unit, family, friends and a God that is right here with us. God is who held me up today. I didn't have the strength to stand by myself but God whispered to me I got you.
I'm reminded to ALWAYS tell the people in your life just how much they mean to you. It's possible you won't get a second chance. I'm reminded that red paint on the garage floor and a brick wall that needs to be replaced really won't matter in 10 years. I remember how much love I have for my husband every minute of every day and it doesn't matter where he is located geographically or how hard I try to solider on, when he is hurt I hurt.
Take a minute to tell those around you just how much they mean to you. Don't focus on the external circumstances but focus on your love for that person. Today is now and tomorrow is never guaranteed.
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