Butt Out

The kids are back in school. I could stop this post right there and every mom would know exactly what I was talking about. While the quiet of the day is something I cherish, I know that this year will mean projects, field trips, sick kids, and for us, at the end of the year a new high school graduate.

Our youngest son started middle school this year. The same year our oldest daughter started her senior year. Over the past few weeks I have not been okay with these milestones. This is not something you think about when your children are small. I used to think that parents of high school/middle school kids were old. I couldn't imagine being old enough to have middle/high school children. Now that's all I have. I have two in middle school and two in high school. 

I struggled with the transition to middle school with all the kids. While middle school is a transition all kids have to go through, that doesn't make it any easier on a mama bear. I stressed about them fitting in, having friends, finding an activity that they liked and not having constant contact with the teachers. Our three oldest kids did just fine. They found their grove, so to speak, and middle school has been smooth sailing for them. I was worried about our youngest. He begged me to home school him on several occasions. He didn't want to go to middle school. My heart was breaking. I wanted to hug him tight and tell him he didn't have to go. 

How Old Are You?

I am constantly reminded how many days it is until my daughter's 18th birthday. You would think it's my daughter that keeps the number in the forefront of my mind but it's the news. My daughter will be 18 5 days before the next presidential election. Every time I turn the news on I am reminded of how many days until my daughter is a legal adult. Starting now I am vowing to watch little or no news until after her birthday.

It seems like yesterday she was starting school with pigtails in her hair and not a pair of pants to be found in her dresser. She refused to wear pants. Actually, many days she simply preferred to be naked. As I have watched her grow and changed I am amazed that we are already knocking on the door of the eighteenth birthday and her senior year in school.

When she was small I often thought that the parents of middle school/high school kids were old. I'm now that parent. Starting with this school year I no longer have children in elementary school. I will have two at the middle school and two at the high school. I keep thinking I don't feel old. I don't feel much older than my almost 18 year old. Except I have now have children that age and I have gray hair. Not figuratively as in my children have given me gray hair, I really have gray hair. That and the line between my eye brows makes me feel old. I told my husband I would like a round of botox for Christmas this year but he didn't find me funny.

Courage

Yesterday, just before lunch, I received a phone call from our oldest son. He was sick at school and needed me to come and pick him up. I'll be honest and tell you I was still in my PJ's enjoying a quiet morning at the house. I originally had no intentions of getting dressed yesterday. After a busy semester at school and my mom here last week, I wanted to just take the day and do whatever struck my fancy. But a mom's work is never done so I threw on clothes and headed to the school to collect my sick child. Although I wasn't sure how sick he really was because he sounded fine on the phone.

I arrived at the school to sign my child out and one of the mom's of a child in my son's class started talking to me. I can't even tell you what she said at first because I was trying to process what she was saying. Initially it sounded like my son and her son got in trouble for something and her son was suspended for 10 days. After further discussion she told me that my son was the one that told the teacher what had happened and her son was suspended. She had talked with her son about the situation. Her son knew what he did was wrong and wasn't mad at my son for telling the teacher. She also told me that when her son could go back to school he wanted to talk to my son but to let my son know that he wasn't going to be yelled at or anything like that. I felt overwhelmed. I was simply coming to pick up my sick child not learn about a middle school situation that resulted in a 10 day suspension of a student. I couldn't even think of what would warrant a suspension of 10 days. So I sat and waited for my son to collect his belongings so we could go home.

Finding a Church Home

One of the things we have struggled with most as we move from duty station to duty station is finding a church home. We had a church that we LOVED in Texas. I worked at the preschool there, we had great friends, an awesome bible study, a great experience all around. We would have outings with our Sunday school class, parent's night out and our kids loved it there which made it even better for us.

When we moved from Texas to KY we struggled to find a church. We found Olivet Baptist Church and were happy for the most part. The people at Olivet loved on my kids, were nice to us(we made some great friends there also) and we love Bro. Brandt the preacher. But something still felt like it was missing.

Since we left Texas I feel like I have been looking for a church that would meet our needs and we would be able to give back like we did in Texas. I've come up short in our search. It seems we would find a great worship experience but then we'd have to find another bible study class. We are finding that more churches are going to a small group experience that tend to meet during the week than a traditional Sunday school. Now I find myself with two tweens and two teenagers so committing to another activity during the week mentally wears me out. Call me crazy but some nights I like to just sit and veg at the house with my family. I find that if I am over scheduled I don't get the most out of anything we are committed to. I constantly watch the clock waiting for the designated hour so I can leave and go home.

It's a Secret

There were days as a young mom that I couldn't wait for my children to be older. I wanted them to be able to feed themselves and walk. Then there were days that I couldn't wait for them to play sports so I could be their cheerleader. I was sure when the kids were older things would be easier. (we had 4 under the age of 6)

Boy was I wrong. When they were little I was able to put them in their seat on the counter with me while I baked or cooked dinner. They didn't talk back or ask why and they certainly didn't require me to play the role of mom taxi. Unless of course it was to a 'playdate' which translated to adult time with another mommy.

While I am enjoying the days with my children as they grow, change and discover who they are- I am not enjoying teenager attitudes, friends that I don't agree with, mom taxi extraordinaire, and at what point did I become mommy dearest?

Ready for School

I'm not sure who is more excited for school to start, myself or my boys. For the past 18 months I have home-schooled our boys. It had been a decision that I felt the Lord calling me to make but I kept doubting the Lord. I would say "Lord, you must have the wrong mom because I CAN'T home-school my boys."

Things continued to get worse at their school and I felt like the teacher wanted me to sit with my 2nd grader for the entire day. Her curriculum didn't allow to give my child additional work or more difficult work because he finished the work faster than his classmates. During this process I learned that I probably shouldn't say NO to the Lord. He does know way more about things than I do. In frustration I threw my hands up and said "Okay Lord, you win. I will bring the boys home and teach them."