Journey Through ADHD

Ever since Parker was 4 I knew he was different. We was and still our child that pushes the envelope. If there is a rule he will challenge it. He is super smart. There are days I can't understand how his 10 year old brain can understand things that it does. For example: I received a new hose for my vacuum from Dyson. It was in a box on my desk. I was upstairs and as I came downstairs I see Parker has taken the part out of the box, taken the vacuum apart and put it back together with the new hose in place. That was a year ago. He has an understanding for the way things work.

When Parker was in Pre-K I asked the teacher if she saw the signs of ADD or ADHD. She assured me that he was just an active 4 year old boy who is the youngest of 4 and has a dad that is deployed. I didn't disagree with her. Although in my mom gutt I knew something wasn't right. We had many days of meltdowns and defiance. But on the day when our sweet Parker would emerge I could see he was in there but was having difficulty communicating with us exactly what was going on.


In kindergarten Parker's teacher was his teacher's aide from Pre-K. I was so happy that she was going to be his teacher. She knew how Parker worked and his needs and understood how to approach him to see the most success. I still felt that something wasn't right. There was behavior and his inability to sit still for long periods of time wasn't getting any better. The feedback I was getting from his teacher was the same as his pre-k teacher. He's the littlest of 4 and his dad is gone a lot. I still felt something in my gutt tell me there was more to this story.


After kindergarten we PCS'd to Fort Bragg. We were blessed with a wonderful pediatrician. She listened to me and helped me work through a proper diagnosis. Parker was diagnosed with ADHD at the end of first grade. Our journey, like many other families with and ADHD child, has been anything but smooth. There isn't a magic pill that will cure children and make them sit and pay attention. What most people don't realize is an ADHD child may seem distracted and occupied with other things is still paying attention. Parker can be playing a video game spinning on a chair and he is able to study spelling words with me. He actually studies better that way.

In 2nd grade we felt that to many things that were unrealistic were expected of Parker. They wanted him to sit still, face forward, do worksheets and go home. Parker has always been smart. If he has done a worksheet once he has no desire to do it again the next day or a similar one later that day. He saw the work and understood it so he feels like he shouldn't be asked to do the same work again. The school and teacher weren't willing or able to give him harder work or adjust to his needs. At that point we decided to homeschool both boys. (Tanner was brought home for different reasons)


Along our journey of homeschool I saw how smart Parker was. He wasn't behind like the school was trying to tell me. They kept telling me that he was behind because he wouldn't do the same worksheet. As long as he was challenged he excelled. He was also a very trying child. Questioned how I knew the answers and wanted to be right all the time. Even though I could show him that his answer to a question was wrong he would want to argue why he was right.

We have experienced everything a family does that has a child with ADD/ADHD. Our other children felt pushed aside because we had to spend more time focused on Parker. We spent many hours correcting behavior, doctor appointments, and counselor appointments.

Last year the boys went back to a traditional school setting. We had them enrolled at private christian school. Many problems and trips to the administration later the boys were put back in the same elementary school that I pulled them out of and vowed they would go back over my dead body. Needless to say I am not dead and they are in school there. Last year was an extremely difficult school year. I had the conversation with my husband that if the school year was as bad this year I would pull Parker and homeschool him. I couldn't have another year like last year. I don't think Parker could either. His teacher, while a great educator, wasn't able to adapt her teaching style to children who seemed to be distracted. She wanted him sitting still, facing forward, and quiet.

Through last year we had tried different meds. None were successful for an extended period of time. The last set of meds we were on were non stimulant meds. The side effect of those meds made me think that we weren't dealing with ADHD but some form of Asperger's. I had worked in the school when we were at Ft Campbell and I saw Asperger's kids. I knew those symptoms and signs. It never occurred to me at the time that the side effects of the meds were making Parker behave this way. I don't know how or why that thought never crossed my mind but sitting back I can say that God was directing our path. I called the pediatrician and requested a neurology consult to rule out other things.  The last few weeks of school I took Parker off meds. (with consent of his DR) and decided that we would see the neurologist with no meds and hopefully the neurologist would be able to help us.

During this time I felt lost, scared, frustrated, angry and worst of all list we had some how failed Parker. I'm so blessed with a wonderful friend that would listen to me daily and encourage me through the process.

The day came and we finally get to see the neurologist. My husband is home from deployment and able to go along. I was filled with anxiety the day of the appointment. I didn't know what to expect, what the process would be and what diagnosis we faced. I prayed and prayed and God had made it well with my soul for me to be at a point to say I don't care what the word is(diagnosis) I just want to know how to help Parker.

The appointment was a long appointment. They spent time with Parker, tested him with a system called Quotient, and spent time talking with us. One of the things that they said to me was "He (Parker) is a smart good kid. He just needs help to focus and stay on task." OMG someone FINALLY saw what I saw. Someone finally understood that it's not just simply a med that you pop in his mouth and will make him better.

One of the other things that the doctor talked about was how ADHD is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It doesn't just go away. We had the conversation that our pediatrician had said it was okay to not give Parker meds on the weekend or school holidays. While it is okay medically, Parker won't die from not having the meds, we aren't doing justice to Parker by not giving it to him on the weekends. He went on to explain that just like Parker's appetite changes off meds his brain processes information different off meds. Learning doesn't just occur in the classroom and by not taking meds on the weekend the doctor feels that we aren't allowing Parker to learn whenever possible. He explained it way better than I just did but we agreed to try the medication that he recommended and see him again in a month. I was leary but trusting the process.

We are 3 months on the meds and have seen the neurologist for our follow up. They tested Parker on the Quotient system to see how the meds are working. The test showed night and day difference from where he originally tested. The Quotient test will track movement, impulsivity, attention and distraction. It is an FDA approved test for ADHD.

Fast forward to our 3rd week of school. There have been no phone calls from the school about Parker. He has brought home homework, done the work with no arguing about it, and has been bringing home A's on his work. Parker also went to Sylvan and has completed that program as well. I finally see my sweet Parker again. I can see him process through things and think about the situation. He's still the same creative, smart, funny child.

I think the one misconception about ADHD children is that they are out of control or over medicated. I am living proof that when you find the right medication and the right dose the medication has no effect on the child's personality.

Our journey isn't over. We are in the middle of our journey. Our first 4 years of ADHD have been a bumpy ride. I have faith in our medical team and the new support from the school that we have the tools in place to make this year a success for Parker.

I can sit back and see God's hand in our journey the entire way. I insisted on trying the non stimulant meds. If it had not of been for those meds we probably wouldn't have seen the neurologist. I know I can't take credit for that. That was God's work. He was directly our path the entire time. It hasn't been an easy path but God was there leading the way while giving me strength, courage, a great friend and hope.