It is about the Journey

While I was struggling to make a decision about nursing school my husband said to me "I don't think this is about whether or not you should you be a nurse. Or whether or not you should be a PA. I think this is about the journey. For some reason you are struggling and I think it's part of your journey." I hated those words. I cursed those words under my breath. I didn't want to
hear it. It's that how it always goes?

I secretly thought to myself......Self.....We know that the journey is to get to take care of sick babies. We know that is where we are to end up. But again my husband's words haunted me. "It's about the journey." There are several ways to get to PA school. None of them better than another (at least not in my eyes) just different paths, or journeys if you will. So I sat and wondered, and prayed some more. What is the purpose to this journey. I'm here for a purpose. Although I wasn't 100% sure what that purpose was other than to at some point take care of sick babies.

Then all of a sudden like a crash of thunder God hit me on the head with a frying pan as if to say "HELLO HONEY, are you paying attention now?" At that moment I had the revelation as to why I was in nursing school. Not only is it a way to get to PA school but there is a very real possibility that my husband will have to retire from the army before I am done with PA school. Nursing would provide a way for me to care for sick babies and provide an income for my family before or during PA school. While I don't have a desire to work as a nurse I do have a desire to take care of sick babies and nurses do take care of sick babies. I'm fairly good at nursing school. I also work hard at it.

I was all set to tell the instructors that I was withdrawing from the program on Monday. Then life happened and here I am. Still a nursing student. Now a second level (year) nursing student. Three semesters stand between me and graduation. And now I feel like I have a purpose to my journey. I'm not just muddling through or on a path that I'm not sure is right. While I don't think nursing school is the end of the journey to taking care of sick babies I do know that for this moment, right now, I have purpose. It's amazing how much peace comes with purpose. And not just my own purpose but a purpose that God has designed.


I can tell you that when you are exhausted mentally and physically the enemy will use whatever he has to deter you from God's plan. It almost worked. Nursing school is no joke. And if you think you know and understand the stress of nursing school you don't really. (although my fellow students, the nurses that have gone before us, and possibly our families understand the stress and workload) I don't mean that to sound rude, it is nothing like any other schooling I have ever done. I tell my husband it is like deployment. You think you know what it is like but until you go through it you have no idea. It's not uncommon for us to be assigned 200 pages of reading on a Thursday or Friday and are expected to be prepared to discuss it. It is also not uncommon that we have 12-16 hours of clinical paperwork in addition to the reading that was just assigned. If only the reading like like some fantasy novel. You would think that the authors of medical text books would figure out a way to do that so we actually enjoyed cramming facts, figures, and new terminology in our heads. All that to tell you I was super exhausted and still am. The enemy saw my weakness, a way to wiggle into my life and allow me to doubt myself and deny that I had purpose for where I am. Don't let that happen to you. Rest on God's promises not lies being told to you.

I'm not going to pretend I understand the purpose for this journey in my life. I'm simply trying to figure out this crazy life one day at a time. I'm forever thankful to the people around me who support me, lift me up in prayer constantly, and tell me the words I don't want to hear but need to hear. Who in your life are you thankful for? Who in your life tells you the things you don't always want to hear but tells them to you anyway? Pray for that person today. While they are supporting you and lifting you up, they may be fighting off the enemy in an area of their life and need support.